What to do when your loved one dies at home on hospice

What happens, step by step

The order can shift a little, and the nurse guides you through each part. Nothing has to be rushed.

1. Step 1

   Take your time

   You can sit with the person, hold their hand, pray, wash their face or simply be quiet. There is no rule about how long. Family members who are not there can be called so they can come, if that is what you want.

2. Step 2

   Call the hospice

   Call the number the nurse gave you at admission. Tell the person who answers that your loved one has died. The nurse will ask a few questions and give an arrival time.

3. Step 3

   The hospice nurse comes

   The hospice nurse confirms the death and notifies the doctor. The nurse records the time, offers to help wash and dress the person, and stays while the next calls are made.

4. Step 4

   The funeral home or mortuary is called

   The nurse calls the funeral home, mortuary or cremation provider you chose. If you have not chosen one yet, the nurse or social worker can help you find one now. The funeral home sends staff to bring the person into their care, usually within a few hours. You can ask them to wait until family arrives.

5. Step 5

   Medicines are handled

   The nurse reviews the medicines in the home with you and explains how to dispose of them. Follow the nurse's instructions. Leftover opioids and other controlled medicines should not stay in the house. See the comfort kit for the general rules.

6. Step 6

   Equipment pickup is arranged

   The hospice arranges for the equipment company to pick up the hospital bed, oxygen and other items. This usually happens within a few days. You do not have to be ready right away, and you can ask for a day that suits you.

7. Step 7

   Paperwork and the death certificate

   The doctor certifies the cause of death. The funeral home prepares the death certificate and files it with the county. You order certified copies through the funeral home or from the county recorder, and later from the California Department of Public Health. See the section below.

How does the death certificate work in California?

In general terms, the process has three parts. The doctor who cared for the person certifies the cause of death. The funeral home gathers the personal information from the family, such as full name, date of birth, parents' names and Social Security number, and files the certificate with the county where the death occurred. The county registers it, and certified copies can then be ordered.

Plan on needing several certified copies. Banks, insurers, pension plans, Social Security, the Department of Motor Vehicles and property records each may ask for one. The funeral home can order copies for you at the time of filing, which is usually the easiest route. Later copies come from the county recorder or from the California Department of Public Health, Vital Records. There is a fee per copy. The CDPH page in the sources explains who may request an authorized copy and how.

What the hospice social worker can help with

Ask. These are common requests in the first days.

• Finding a funeral home, mortuary or cremation provider, and understanding the choices and costs
• Who to notify, such as Social Security, a pension plan, Medicare, Medi-Cal and the person's health plan
• Returning or disposing of equipment, supplies and medicines
• Help for children and teenagers in the family
• Grief support for the family in the months ahead

What support comes after the death?

Grief support is part of hospice care, not an extra. Beta offers grief support to the family for 13 months after a death. It can be a phone call, a letter, a visit, a group or a referral to a counselor. Someone from the hospice contacts the family in the weeks after the death, and you choose how much contact you want. See bereavement support.

If grief ever feels like more than you can carry, or you have thoughts of ending your life, call or text 988, the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. It is answered at any hour.

Common questions

More guides

Read signs that death is near for what families usually see in the last days, and the comfort kit for the medicines used at home. For questions about the first days after a death, contact us.